4 Tips to Teaching Responsibility Early
“It is NOT what you DO FOR your children, but what you have TAUGHT them to DO FOR THEMSELVES that will make them successful human beings.”
-Ann Landers
Children begin to crave certain levels of independence at a very early age. If you have ever crossed paths with the “I do by myself” toddler than you know exactly what I mean. It’s up to us as the adult, to assess the capability of what tasks to actually let them attempt to manage, to find ways to challenge and facilitate them during the strengthening of this independence, and ways to hold them accountable so they can measure and take pride in their growth.
The following are a few tips to guide you on assigning your little ones with executing simple tasks while teaching/guiding self-management and measuring growth. It is so important for children to own the strides made along their path. This aids the foundation of many life skills such as self-confidence, taking stock in their own success, and learning to be accountable for their actions in completing a task or working towards a goal.
Choose Tasks That Are Routine
Making it their responsibility to dress themselves, brush their teeth and hair, and have their things ready for school frees up time for you the adult to do less micro managing, and begins their independence and ownership over how they present themselves. It is also a great place to start because it is usually a routine with steps they are already used to and will help build time management skills. Repeat this at night, for bath, teeth, and dressing in pajamas by a set bedtime.
Challenge Them To Get & Stay Organized
With age comes accumulation of stuff (toys, clothes, shoes, video games)! Make sure all of their things have an assigned place in the home and make keeping up with everything being in it’s place their new responsibility! This can include dirty clothes in the hamper, shoes and clean clothes hung up and/or folded, toys in the toy chest, shoes under their bed, plates in sinks when leaving the table, etc. Consistency is key, reinforce until it becomes a reflex for them to execute!
3. Remind Them They Are Part of A Larger Community/Household
Helping out others is part of living in a home community! Children can do large scale tasks that help the greater good as well as being responsible for their themselves. They can feed the pets, help write the shopping list, help with dinner, learn how to wash clothes/dishes, help set the table, mow the lawn, etc. These tasks should be added a few at a time, maybe even presented as options for them to have a choice.
Finally….
4. Stress Accountability!
With the introduction of all new procedures, consistency, reinforcement, visual tracking, clear consequences and rewards are all vital and equally important pieces of the puzzle. Jovi just turned seven years old and we are starting her new Responsibilities Chart. It is an awesome magnetic hang chart with labeled tasks and days of the week. The Chart is set up for 7 daily tasks. You and your child can choose how many to add, and whether or not to use the pre-made labels or write in your own. We found this Melissa and Doug chart at Whole Foods for $25.00 but there are printable templates available online or you can use some poster board and make your own with your children and their input! This gives your kids a daily visual of their actions, and it’s direct connection to the successfulness of their tasks being accomplished or not, tracks areas of strength, points out where they need improvement and results in either consequences or rewards. Jovi is earning money for the days she accomplishes all 7 of her chores! On Saturday, she can choose to use her money earned or continue to save for another week. Consequences include losing her tablet for 30 mins per incompleted tasks. Figure out what will work best for your kids in your home. Good Luck creating self-sufficient and highly responsible humans!