How 2020’s Vision Focused My 2021 Steps
2020 was supposed to be a monumental year for blessings and prosperity, but in true “life fashion,” we make plans and the universe laughs. By March, the world stood still holding it’s collective breath for direction to plan any move at all. Our financial stability, employment, our children’s education, mental/emotional health, and our basic survival seemed out of our hands entirely.
For me, as a mom and educator, cohabitating with my high-risk parents, I had to choose between gambling my health and my livelihood. This was an unfortunate and all too relatable circumstance for most educators, health care, and essential workers with families. The days between mid July and what was to be the first days of school across the country were my most agonizing and no choice seemed like the right choice given all the scary information we knew and still had yet to learn. I was also in the final stages of a four year divorce, my house was on the market, my daughter was poised to begin her First grade year and I was expected to greet my thirteenth year of Kindergarteners amidst a global pandemic. As that day grew closer my anxiety skyrocketed. PPE nationwide was going to take months to reach thousands of US schools, and still wouldn’t be enough, class sizes grew, teachers were prepping to teach virtually and in person simultaneously, and enforcing social distancing and mask wearing for eight hours across the board was obviously impossible. Ultimately, I made the heartbreaking choice to leave my position and school family of over a decade to protect myself and my loved ones. I know I was blessed to to be able to make that choice though it broke my heart and I carried a lot of “teacher guilt.”
Then, September arrived, and we were all once again adjusting to a new set of circumstances in this year of “new norms.” In one week I become my daughter Jovi’s virtual classroom coach, my divorce was settled, and my house was sold. I realized that my new found personal and professional freedom had cleared the blurry vision of 2020 thus far and a new sight came into view. I had four months left of this historically tragic year to dedicate to the pursuit of reinvesting in me! I had been gifted thus far with my health, and the professional knowledge I could use to be an educational asset for my daughter in a way I may never again. I had the blessing of being quarantined with my parents who offered me additional support in many forms, and the time to dedicate to building something new that could be very beneficial and successful. I have spent this time re-instating dedication to my fitness and mental health goals. I put dates to my dreams and turned them into plans by ramping up my blogging, completing my manuscript, that had up until then just been simmering on the back burner as an idea for a children’s book. I created my brand page and poured countless time and energy into editing, shaping and finalizing my book treatment, and this blog site to invite you all into my journey, and create an educational community!
Everyday has been a challenge, and some days my best has felt like I was only operating on a 10% battery. Walking that tightrope of ups and downs is a pretty relatable situation for us all this past year, and just like most I continued to put one foot in front of the other controlling what was in my power to control and learning to release the rest. Be proud of that! It is an accomplishment to have maintained your household, kept yourself and everyone alive, modeled growth through adversity, and in my case attempted to create something purposeful out of all this pain and loss. It is the journey not the destination that fortifies and reveals our character! What I learned in 2020, is what I’m made of when it really counts, and how grateful I am for the little and not so little things we take for granted. I will carry these lessons into 2021 that the world, my choices, and my loved ones have taught me and use them as fuel to propel me forward on this new path.